Proverbs 15:1 A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

Proverbs 15:1 A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

            If you expect a parent to call the school to complain, tell your principal.  It is best that your principal knows your side of the incident before the call comes.  If you made a mistake, let your principal know. Your principal needs to be prepared to explain and support you during the initial contact.  If a conference is scheduled, be determined to remain calm during the meeting.  Anger belittles your position and takes away your control.  Anytime a parent forcefully and loudly expresses their anger toward you, you will be tempted to answer them with the same tone and same force.  However, as a professional, you should answer calmly, quietly, and professionally.

           Unfortunately, parents can become angry and attack teachers when students slant reports in their favor. Often parents are responding to inaccurate information. If a parent becomes irate, first assume that there is a misunderstanding.  This assumption will allow you deal to with the conflict correctly. Truly listen to the parent’s perspective. Let him/her finish the complaint without interruption or correction. Quietly check their message by saying something like, “I see that you are upset, and we do need to discuss this matter.  However, I trust that we can handle this calmly since we both want what is best for your child.  What I hear you saying is that you feel that I am picking on your child by giving a detention for something he/she didn’t do.  Is that correct?”   Once the parent feels you have heard the complaint, he/she will be more willing to hear your answer.   Your soft tone will also make it obvious how loud and harsh his/her own tone is.

            If you are wrong, apologize.  If the report is inaccurate, quietly explain the situation from your perspective. If the parent does not calm down, you should stand and say, “Mr./Mrs. Smith, perhaps we need to speak to the principal regarding this matter.  Let’s see if he/she is in the office.”  This is not a request, but it is a statement of your decision.  Be assertive by walking toward the office and discontinuing the conversation. Do not continue a conference that has become unproductive or volatile.

            The scriptures teach that a “soft answer” turns away wrath.   Seek to be crucified with Christ and allow the Spirit of God to respond rather than your human nature.

Dear God, I need wisdom for times like these.  Teach me to be like you, to think your thoughts, and to speak your words.  Help me learn to speak softly in times of conflict.