Ephesians 4:26-27 “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27and do not give the devil a foothold.

Ephesians 4:26-27 “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27and do not give the devil a foothold.

Christians sometimes feel that the best way to respond to anger is to pretend that nothing was said or done (denial).  We internalize the pain and anger thinking that we have forgiven by turning the other cheek.  As we “walk in our forgiveness,” the weight of the stuffed anger becomes greater and greater. We may not consciously realize that we are angry. Often we put on masks and pretend the offenses are “forgiven” rather than walking through the full process of letting the offense go completely.  The anger we stuff throughout the months and years becomes a boiling pot of unresolved issues that will surface again somewhere.  It may surface through poor health, depression (which is often defined as repressed anger), poor relationships, misplaced anger, or God issues like the inability to pray, worship, trust or serve God or others.

                The only way to rise above this “stuffed” anger is to begin dealing with each issue.  Every wound needs to be addressed.  The offenses need to be opened up enough to let the infection drain out.  We can ask God to help cleanse us of offenses and to gently bring before us the unresolved issues in the order that we need to forgive. A godly counselor or pastor may be needed for major offenses. As we deal with these stuffed offenses, the Holy Spirit can bring complete healing to the deepest wounds.  You may need to go to someone to seek reconciliation with some offenses, while other issues can be privately dealt with in your own heart.  As you seek the Lord regarding your offense, the Holy Spirit will guide you to the correct way to deal with each issue.

                “Don’t let the sun go down upon your wrath” (Ephesians 4:26 KJV).  When offended, begin to deal with the issue immediately.  The shorter your accounts, the healthier your emotions will become.  Loving confrontation can bring healing to both parties.

                When I am offended, I have learned to assume that there is a misunderstanding.  I also choose to wait until my emotions are under control before I deal with issues.  I want to make sure that I do not “offend” as I am seeking my own healing. Two wrongs do not make a right.  When I do confront, I begin with an affirmation and proceed with a question regarding the offense.  I want to make sure it is not a   misunderstanding on my part.     I  use  “I” statements–“I feel …” rather than “You did …” This is less attacking.  Oh, yes, make sure the confrontation is private.  If you need support, your principal, pastor, counselor, or another authority would be appropriate. Your authority should only offer insight and support when needed. You should conduct the conference.

Dear God, Teach me the art of clearing offenses.  Help me to become vulnerable enough to confront those who offend me to enable my offender and me to grow more like you.  Show me when I am stuffing my anger.